I'm Single, Again..

"Mercedes Streeter" (smart) 03/21/2018 at 14:32 • Filed to: None

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Post things that would cheer me up. 

I’m so, so, so sorry Miss Honda. I hope we can still be friends. And know that I do love you. 

I’m still learning this dating thing and I’m sort of not that great at it. However, I am beginning to really know what I really want in a relationship and what I’m willing to compromise on. Gone are the days I’m going to be dating anyone just because they told me yes. And, if I don’t feel “the fire” for someone on the first date (like I did Miss Tesla), I’m probably never going to feel it at all.

I guess in slightly more amusing news, I’ve had more dates in the past three months than I’ve had in all of the years in my life prior combined.

jkm7680 > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 14:36

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ttyymmnn > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 14:38

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Chin up.

Ash78, voting early and often > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 14:38

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vicali > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 14:40

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Why not EXPO?

SmugAardvark > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 14:41

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B/Xmrrmvr > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 14:49

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ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 14:51

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$kaycog > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 14:53

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Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > $kaycog 03/21/2018 at 15:03

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My wife plays the bass, she claims she needs the Outback to transport it to rehearsal and concerts, yeah what ever lady.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 15:06

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Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 15:09

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$kaycog > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 03/21/2018 at 15:09

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If she says that’s what she needs, then that’s what she gets. :D

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > $kaycog 03/21/2018 at 15:11

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Yes, this is the correct answer.

Textured Soy Protein > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 15:15

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Given all the drama you’ve been posting about this is probably not a bad thing to be on your own for a while.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 15:21

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One of my close friends here at my university (and my roommate for next year)recently came out to me and other close friends, then to everyone that he had spent most of his life with gender dysphoria and wants to begin the transition process. One of the hardest things for him about the revelation was that it resulted in him and his girlfriend of 3-4 years splitting up, and he is now struggling with not having an intimate partner for the first time in years. As someone who’s basically never dated in his life (yay for being a closet case and a prude!) I can only imagine what he must be going through to add losing her on top of everything else.

All I can say is the old cliche, it will get better. I realize that isn’t helpful or even original, but it’s the only idea that has kept me going on many occasions, and I know from talking to him that he feels the same.

Svend > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 15:26

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Being single is way under rated.

Some Autotrader Smarts.

$kaycog > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 03/21/2018 at 15:43

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You’re a smart man.

Echo51 > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 15:47

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If you have facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/catspottingsociety/permalink/1569625693141093/
If not, doesn’t matter, who cares, you still have your smarts!

cmill189 - sans Volvo > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 15:50

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It’s smart and mature of you to know what you want. I let two relationships drag out into long-term relationships that I wasn’t really into. I almost married both of them. Basically all the women I’ve dated have been a result of me just letting others decide. For a long time I figured if they were into me, I should be into them, and if I wasn’t, that meant something was wrong with me. I was always too chicken-shit to just say it’s over so I slowly pushed them away which is horrible for both people.

My current partner of almost two years is a result of me going after the person I wanted and being almost 100% sure it’s what they wanted as well. I laid all my intentions and feelings bare from the beginning and it worked out. Can’t say it’s the best idea but I figured I needed to start from scratch and if she wan’t into it, I tried.

Kiltedpadre > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 15:56

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Sadly I only have a single jet engined Smart to give. Maybe your 12th Smart can be a trijet.

I bet it gets toasty inside.

Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom > $kaycog 03/21/2018 at 15:56

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Doesn’t look very Smart to me - fiddling around like that..

Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom > Ash78, voting early and often 03/21/2018 at 15:58

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I love me some L-1011 but have no idea what you meant here..

EL_ULY > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 16:02

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Mercedes Streeter > Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom 03/21/2018 at 16:22

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I love trijets. 

Mercedes Streeter > Ash78, voting early and often 03/21/2018 at 16:22

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Oh that Iberia L10 is some computer wallpaper material!

Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 16:25

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Ah. Here I was looking for some bizarro, convoluted secret meaning to those photos...

$kaycog > Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom 03/21/2018 at 16:27

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Nice! Take a bow.

Mercedes Streeter > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 03/21/2018 at 16:27

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I know it gets better. I’m used to my life persistently being horrible with a few peaks of happiness. I guess I’m glad I did this before Saturday. Picking up the fourth smart should help me clear my head.

Sadly loss is something most normal trans people will go through. We sorta learn how to deal with navigating our new world without those people. I lost my “best friends” and my parents are now repeatedly the source of some of my suicide attempts. If your friend ever needs any help with transition stuff or just in general, send them my way! 

the_smart_car@yahoo.com

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 16:29

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I got out of a 3 year relationship 3 months ago, and have also dated more than I have ever in my life combined. And I’ve told myself, similar to you that I can’t just jump into the next thing full force. Casually dating is both wonderful and exhausting at the same time, haha. I wish you well!

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Mercedes Streeter > cmill189 - sans Volvo 03/21/2018 at 16:35

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I was always too chicken-shit to just say it’s over so I slowly pushed them away which is horrible for both people.

This...this is me so much. I lucked out with Miss Tesla, she turned out to be who I was really looking for (the relationship ended as our desires changed as the relationship progressed), but I shouldn’t expect that to continue.

I need to be able to tell people I’m not interested, not just go with it because they said yes.

Hopefully my next time will be better. Thanks for your story! 

Mercedes Streeter > ttyymmnn 03/21/2018 at 16:36

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Amusingly, I have all three of those photos on a hard drive at home. :3

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 16:47

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I certainly will. Likewise, you can message me on Facebook if you ever wish to talk. With my unique first name appearing in my last post, I should be pretty easy to find on the Oppositelock FB page.

ttyymmnn > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 16:47

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I’m not surprised. They were the first ones that popped up with a GIS.

SteveLehto > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 16:54

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Advice from an old guy (56 yo as of this past SUN).

Do not plan on “compromising” at this stage. Anything that you need to compromise on early will end up being a bigger problem down the road. Contrary to anything Marge Simpson said, People DO NOT CHANGE. If it bugs you early on, it’s going to bug you more later. And somewhere down the road you will kick yourself for compromising.

Look for the “fire” as you put it (I assume you do not mean the kind where a Tesla spontaneously combusts). There is someone out there who will be as fascinated by you as you need to be by them and so on. Date etc but don’t put pressure on yourself to find someone. That’s not how it works. You’ll bump into someone at school, church (hey, it’s possible!), work, at the park . . . but someplace you might not expect someone to turn up at. But then again, if you are in those kinds of places and they appeal to you, they might appeal to someone like you who is looking for someone - like you.

Life is too short to waste it with someone who is not perfect for you. But not so short as to throw in the towel before you’ve found each other.

Mercedes Streeter > SteveLehto 03/21/2018 at 17:23

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Oh my....This is quite possibly one of the best comments I’ve read in this thread. 

Do not plan on “compromising” at this stage. Anything that you need to compromise on early will end up being a bigger problem down the road. Contrary to anything Marge Simpson said, People DO NOT CHANGE. If it bugs you early on, it’s going to bug you more later. And somewhere down the road you will kick yourself for compromising.

I haven’t thought of it like that. I keep thinking that it’s a compromise now, but it won’t be later because I’ll adapt and learn to be okay with it.

Though, my experience seems to indicate that such isn’t how the world works.

I think my greatest lesson from all of this is that life doesn’t work like a fairy tale. I can’t just turn someone who isn’t perfect into someone who is perfect.

Look for the “fire” as you put it (I assume you do not mean the kind where a Tesla spontaneously combusts). There is someone out there who will be as fascinated by you as you need to be by them and so on. Date etc but don’t put pressure on yourself to find someone. That’s not how it works. You’ll bump into someone at school, church (hey, it’s possible!), work, at the park . . . but someplace you might not expect someone to turn up at. But then again, if you are in those kinds of places and they appeal to you, they might appeal to someone like you who is looking for someone - like you.

It’s more like a “heart skips a beat but thankfully not like an interference engine” fire. 

Another lesson in this...it’s better to be single and somewhat lonely than it is to be with someone but knowing that they aren’t 100% for me.

Thank you so much for your words! You always seem to have bloody awesome advice!

arl > Mercedes Streeter 03/21/2018 at 17:38

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Hang in there! Have a picture of the Pantheon in Rome that my wife took last summer. Remember, there’s always a ray of light in dark places.....

pip bip - choose Corrour > Mercedes Streeter 03/22/2018 at 05:31

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:)

random question, did Brabus sell their smart car conversions in the USA?

Mercedes Streeter > pip bip - choose Corrour 03/22/2018 at 08:25

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They did! But they were knackered. Unlike their Euro counterparts, the US spec ones had no performance upgrades.

nerd_racing > Mercedes Streeter 03/22/2018 at 08:53

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Single again Dilly Dilly. Been over a year for me. Gotta go with your instincts most of the time they are accurate.

zipfuel > Mercedes Streeter 03/22/2018 at 22:35

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Sometimes you just have to push on...

winterlegacy, here 'till the end > Mercedes Streeter 03/23/2018 at 09:14

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Here’s a happy smiling sunshine yellow NC Miata to put a smile on your face, because it smiles at you, all the time, rain or shine.

shop-teacher > Mercedes Streeter 03/23/2018 at 09:14

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I missed this yesterday. I just want to say good on you for realizing what needed to be done, and then actually doing it. I’ve known people who literally spent years with the wrong person because they couldn’t or wouldn’t confront breaking up with them. I know two who each spent over a decade with the wrong person, and it cost them dearly.

Don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re learning. Many people never learn. Life will go on for you and for Miss Honda, and it’s the right thing for both of you. I’m at work, so I can’t upload pictures, soooo .... use your imagination here .... rallysmart.jpg

Carrera > Mercedes Streeter 04/17/2018 at 01:15

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You truly deserve happiness! Instead of losing someone, they’ve lost you. You’re #1 in your life and if a separation happens, you move forward (D + gas pedal!!)

Mercedes Streeter > Carrera 04/17/2018 at 01:27

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Awe, thank you so much, Carrera! <3

Overall, the breakup was beneficial for me. A few weeks ago I met my new boyfriend. I’m crazier for him than I’ve been for any partner I’ve ever had! <3

I hope my ex has or will find someone similar. :)

Carrera > Mercedes Streeter 04/17/2018 at 04:18

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Amen to that! I wish you two, but especially you, the best time together! :-)